REASONS I WILL NEVER BE ELECTED TO ANY KIND OF OFFICE
I've been watching a lot of Scandal lately and every time they dig up someone's dirt I'm like "damn you wouldn't even have to dig to find mine"
- •I'm an areligious heathenPossibly an exaggeration, but for real, I'm a woman without a religion. And for all the game we like to talk about separation of church and state, people like their politicians to have a religious affiliation (cough*preferably Christian*cough)
- •I have inhaled
- •While I have never been arrested, I was once escorted out of a White Sox game by security
- •I have 2 tattoosGenerally frowned upon in the pantsuit wearing world of congress
- •There are published articles in my name about controversial issuesLike abortion waiting periods, revenge porn legislation, and the early members of Destiny's Child.
- •I was a teen in the time of MySpace and XangaThere is no doubt a social media post somewhere out in the world from before I knew anything about anything in which I made some sort of misguidedly anti-feminist comment thanks to the internalized misogyny of my small town upbringing. A troll would find it! And also probably pictures of me in glitter eyeshadow and pocketless jeans, which is equally damning.
- •My browser history is a disasterI LOVE WIKIPEDIA PAGES FOR CONSPIRACY THEORIES