THINGS I AM CONTEMPLATING RATHER THAN THE PROBLEM AT HAND

Because having to decide whether or not I am going to commit to a doctoral program in psychology in a mere 48 hours does not require my full attention
  1. Who is funnier Joey or Phoebe?
  2. Am I going to emotionally be able to handle when Ross and Rachel break up during my current binge fest?
  3. Which one of my roommates is the Rachel? I'm definitely the Phoebe. Either of them could be the Monica but there's no clear winner for Rachel. I guess it'll go to whoever is less Monica.
  4. Is the addition of the teal blinds to my black and white themed bedroom too bold?
  5. Is the list I have saved in my drafts funny or meh?
  6. Do those guys from Smosh still make YouTube videos?
    How good was the Pokemon theme?
  7. What does my psychologist really think of me?
  8. I heard a new iPhone is coming out... Does that mean an iPhone 7 or iPhone 6 S or something?
    I could really just google this one.
  9. Is anyone else as repulsed by the misogynistic message at the end of Grease as I am?
    And if you see it differently, please enlighten me.
  10. Am I going to be able to see the pope from my roof deck next month?
    And just how much is his visit going to impede on my weekend?
  11. How much money could I get for renting out my room for pope visit 2015?
    Stupid no sublet clause
  12. When will be a good time for me to catch up on this season of Girl Meets World?
  13. Is my second favorite color blue or pink?
    Green is a lock for first but it's a close call for silver.
  14. What does Tim Tebow being on the Eagles mean for me?
  15. Is it bad that I just found out Tim Tebow is on the Eagles?
  16. Is Tim Tebow good at football or just good at celibacy?
  17. Is Tim Tebow still a virgin?
  18. Is Tim Tebow Catholic?
  19. Does Tim Tebow plan on visiting the pope when he comes to Philly?
  20. How much better would life be if farts didn't smell?
  21. What should I eat for breakfast tomorrow?
  22. How did that show Revenge end?
    Did she get her revenge? Or was revenge given to her?
  23. What the fuck am I doing with my life?
  24. Are all bank lollipops, regardless of color, the same flavor?
  25. Did that purple ketchup taste any different than regular ketchup?
  26. What's the difference between ketchup and catsup?
  27. Am I going to die alone?
  28. What is my dog dreaming about right now?