FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM: NORTH HOLLYWOOD EDITION
- •stray catswhile rarely seen at the same time, they exist in small colonies, frequenting backyards of suburban neighborhoods. months of observing their behavior patterns & leadership structures have indicated that they are nomadic, communist, intensely sexual, & don't give a shit about anything, at all.
- •stray childrenvery similar to the cats: they form small, roaming communities. they define their territory & protect it aggressively. the only difference is that the cats don't shout hurtful things at me when I roll by on my razor scooter.
- •pit bullsdespite their appearance & eating habits, they inexplicably have become a popular companion for Homo sapiens.
- •shopping cartstheir presence is unignorable. their origin is unknown. (((seriously, where the fuck are all of these coming from??)))
- •white peopleclearly not native to the territory, they congregate close to their centers of most comfort: farmer's markets, hiking trails, & Del Taco.