RECIPE FOR AMAZING CHIPOTLE

There are several steps to procuring a good Chipotle
  1. 1.
    Need some sort of money ($10-$15 worth)
    This can be hard earned income or inherited from family or borrowed from a friend. Cash or credit, neither are a problem.
  2. 2.
    Locate the line
    Not all Chipotle's are the same layout so you gotta find the right line. Easier said than done.
  3. 3.
    Get in line and show patience
    This is easy to say and do. Patience is important because there's nothing you can do to make the line go faster. The line can be incredibly long and slow but sometimes it's super fast!
  4. 4.
    Make direct eye contact at the front of the line and smile at the Chipotle employee
    This is good on a basic human level but also if you are in their good graces you can get bigger helpings.
  5. 5.
    Be confident!!!!!
    This is a moment where you could easily get nervous while reciting your order. Fight those nerves and stand your ground - you know what you want and you're gonna get it!
  6. 6.
    Place your general order
    Typically this is burrito, burrito bowl, tacos or quesadilla. Generally this is where you let your health consciousness take over. Allow it to happen, it's totally fine.
  7. 7.
    Add your meat and other toppings
    Meat (or lack thereof) is a crucial choice and will make or break your dish. Ask to try a sample. If you smiled previously they will be willing to offer you samples. This is also how the long line forms so you are testing everyone else's patience and that's good
  8. 8.
    Do you want guac???
    It is extra charge. It is so well known it is extra charge that it is a meme. To seem like a vet just preemptively say "I'll get guac and yes I know it's extra :)"
  9. 9.
    Proceed to the register
    It is ok if you start to bring your form of payment out now, you are almost done. It's actually cool to bring it out now cuz it shows you are a veteran and are helping speed up the slow process.
  10. 10.
    Chips/drink? Is it worth it?
    Cashier will ask you about chips and a drink - this is your final decision. How do you feel about adding those charges? The chips have a nice lime quality so maybe you want some. Also there are good fountain drinks so maybe that will also be good. Up to you.
  11. 11.
    Say goodbye and thank your burrito master
    This is VERY unconventional but always appreciated. Say "thank you for the burrito/burrito bowl/tacos, I will see you next time!" This will help you become a beloved local which will in turn help your portions.
  12. 12.
    Count down the hours till it is ok to have Chipotle again so that you aren't having too much Chipotle and thereby ruining Chipotle for yourself
    Very important to find this balance, it is difficult to attain but amazing once you have figured it out.