WAYS TO LOOK PROPER WHILE EATING

  1. Use a fork and knife
  2. Tuck your napkin into your shirt
  3. Wear a tuxedo
  4. Send the food back to the kitchen
  5. Chortle loudly after taking bites and follow with a tiny sip of wine
  6. Do not make eye contact with the waiter/waitress and do not thank them
  7. Tell everyone you have "had better"