Addictions & Their More Healthy Void Fillers

Suggestions please
  1. Marijuana - loose leaf green tea
    Texturally & botanically similar. Both are very fragrant. Both can be bought in similar packaging & both can be very calming or anxiety producing. Don't try to smoke green tea though
  2. Cocaine - red bull/coffee & sugar with menthol nasal inhaler
    The combo simulates the effects & isn't nearly as expensive, hazardous, but also not as glamorous. Might not be THAT MUCH healthier, but definitely a significant margin better.
  3. Pharmaceutical narcotics - Benadryl, valerian tea, melatonin
    Pretty much natural/lower grade versions of anti-anxiety meds/pain killers that are weaker but can produce a similar/same desired effect of taking more dangerous drugs
  4. Alcohol - NyQuil/ZzzQuil or Going to the Spa
    I don't advocate replacing booze with OTC syrups & I think they might have some alcohol in them, but a way to ease off the sauce. Otherwise, going to the spa produces a natural euphoria & is a social environment many drinkers associate with their addiction. In LA & NYC there are even Co-Ed options open 24/7 to replace going to the bar. Much healthier & closer to naked already.
  5. Adderal - cold brew coffee/5 Hour energy
    Not nearly as strong but drink enough of either & for a small amount of time, will feel the same
  6. Heroin - fast food
    Get a double cheeseburger, cheese fries & a milkshake, eat it all really fast & slip into a food coma. Again, not healthy, but health-IER
  7. Self mutilation - crafting
    Pretty much the same thing except you don't bleed, have no eye brows or leave your face with acne scars
  8. Processed Sugar - fruits, La Croix
    Still sugar, but natural & less addictive. Purée fruits like watermelon, mango, berries & make into a smoothie or Popsicles instead of eating fruity candy/sugar drinks.
  9. Smoking - vaping
    Who even knows if this is any better for you, but it's more pleasant of a smell for others
  10. Nitrous - stretching until you're light headed/standing up too fast