Parts of Forrest Gump So Ridiculous It Took Me Out of the Movie

Still love this movie, but not sure if it holds up like I thought it would... Maybe remake it starring Tom Hanks's son Chet?
  1. Inventing Smiley Face t-shirt
    He wipes his muddy face in a yellow t-shirt and vwala... Shit happens
  2. That Lt. Dan had the foresight to invest that Bubba Gump money in Apple Inc.
    The incredible luck of success in shrimping is one thing, but then leaving the business in the hands of a drunk, mentally ill veteran & trusting that he's savvy enough to invest in a tech start up in a pre-age of information without him being guilty of insider trading is beyond comprehension.
  3. That Jenny didn't give Haley Joel Osment A.I.D.S.
    Within the narrative or in real life
  4. That the guy who played Bubba never went on to do anything of note after
  5. Running follower's personality
    Intentional but still a little too over the top
  6. Back & forth sequence of Forrest's rise to fame/fortune juxtaposed to Jenny's descent to rock bottom
    There's a couple scenes of Jenny that could be swapped out shot-for-shot with some of Sharon Stone in Casino & no one would notice or care
  7. The studio audience of the Dick Cavett show not laughing at Forrest setting up John Lennon
    Either that is too ridiculous or its intended to be the inspiration for John Lennon writing "Imagine" which is equally silly
  8. That Bubba Gump restaurants still exist.
    Has anyone ever eaten at one?
  9. Remake the movie starring Chet Hanks
    The new white rapper Forrest Gump dimwit character is loosely tied to the invention of Facebook, cleans up New Orleans after Katrina, rides a Segway over the Bering Straight using a garmin gps unit, is loosely involved in 9/11, deploys to Iraq, in same platoon as Pat Tillman, sells blackberry stock before iPhone announcement, makes sex tape with Brittany Murphy, was supposed to open for Michael Jackson on that last tour & Jenny is played by Rihanna