1. Eat comfort foods
    I eat too much cheese, makes problems worse.
  2. Google cures for sadness
    Google often makes off beat suggestions. Save for the next list.
  3. Listen to aggressive rap songs about the pussy
  4. Order personalized cakes
    Such as "Huge In Hollywood" Then I eat & say to myself, "you are what you eat"
  5. YouTube "obese toddlers"
  6. Watch the scene in Blazing Saddles where Mel Brooks tries to use the paddle ball game.
  7. Play NBA2K while listening to Motown
  8. Put off everything on my to-do list