What I've Learn From Getting Married

  1. I'm happier than I thought I'd be
    I thought marital bliss was some bullshit, but we've never been more in love, happy & flush with money/material possessions. It'd be a great time to rob me.
  2. Get stuff appraised
    For insurance purposes, so you know how much stuff is worth & in case you want to write a rap song
  3. You can't please everyone
    A longtime, close friend called yesterday to tell me he was hurt he wasn't more involved in my wedding. It made me feel terrible, like knots in my stomach, fixated on it, just awful. Then my wife said to me, "that's some real whiny girl shit... No one should make you feel any less positive about your wedding.... It's literally the one day you get a pass for almost anything. Keep it to yourself." Glad my friend spoke up bc I don't want him to resent me, but u can't please everyone. I'm ok w/it
  4. People don't get weddings unless they've been through it
    I always just assumed it was cool to bring a date not realizing that one univited person costs hundreds of dollars to have there OR not showing up means the hosts are just flushing hundreds down the toilet when they could be making it rain.
  5. All the other events do serve a purpose
    I hated the idea of getting married. All of it. But especially having to throw all the events: engagement party, multiple showers, bachelor/bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner, brunch and the fucking wedding. In time, I learned that all of these serve a purpose, other than the brunch. Fuck the brunch, no one wants to wake up that early the next day. These things are literally mergers of families so the more events to get the people of each family comfortable w/one another = better wedding
  6. You can't please everyone: Part 2
    There were so many people I wanted to invite, but couldn't. It consumed me. Some of those people that means something to me cared they weren't invited, but most were very understanding & they will be rewarded for that, we're gonna have another reception for them with DIPPIN DOTS!
  7. Family is the most important
    I moved very far from where I grew up and my immediate family has been estranged from my dad for a number of years & have never felt comfortable with his family, but when it all comes down to it, was incredibly nice to be there celebrating with all these people who've known me my whole life & see how happy they were to share my joy. Even my dad's sister we used to call "Uncle Lisa" was a pleasure to have there. I feel a lot closer to my dad now & other family I didn't really give a shit about.
  8. People who can, love to give
    It's hard for me to accept so much love, but it's easy to deposit a jaw dropping check from people who are well off.
  9. My childhood friends & I haven't developed into adults properly
    And can/will recreate the same fun/mischief we had as kids without it feeling forced. They even mesh well with friends I've made as an adult. Mixing groups of friends is alway used to stress me out, but sometimes I forget most people have social skills. We threw a bookshelf off my friend's parent's roof the night before the wedding!
  10. Even people who've gotten divorced are genuinely happy for you and not jaded by their failed marriage(s)
  11. Most people don't have sex on their wedding night, but I did
    Trying to stop being such a people pleaser. Now I have to be a family man & if that means fucking your wife on your wedding day, I guess sacrifices have to be made...
  12. All base desires are worth sacrificing
    So I have to give up some freedom, but all I'm really barred from is raw dogging some vulnerable girl who's moments shared will ultimately mean nothing. If you marry someone who gets you, you pretty much still have the freedom to explore the world around you & whatever you want, you just want to do it with them. Sacrificing strange is worth it.
  13. People shit on craft gifts, but I love them
    Even though money is obviously the best, I remember being disappointed by some of the people who just wrote a check thinking they could've come up with something more thoughtful (although I bet the thought process was "this is what they really want") I wouldn't have cared if most of my friends didn't give me anything, I've had some really generous friends be very good to me in my times of need over the years & feel guilty they got me gifts. Not giving them back though
  14. There's so much more to learn
    I've only been married a week, so I'm pretty naive. Don't listen to me.
  15. Use "my wedding" or "just got married" to help make life easier
    Take extra time off work, get your friends/family to be more understand/do favors for you, drop that line at the airline or hotel check-in counter to get hassle free upgrades, just drop it to anyone who'll listen & could lubricate the process of helping you get what you want. Usually works.