AUTOGRAPHS IN MY MIDDLE SCHOOL YEARBOOKS IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER
So middle school was probably the worst years of my life and I thought I was gonna throw these out but I thought hmm let's look through the back first just in case. Here are my favorites:
- •"Jello, teabagging, and Frosted Flakes" -Travis Hilling 8th GradeBack story: when I was in elementary this kid was head over heels. He gave me a ring (WHO DOES THIS IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL) which his little sister kindly informed me cost $2.75. He told me it cost him a lot of money so that made me mad and I stopped talking to him. He had his friends(my friends still) follow me around as my "protection" aka he tried to make stalking cool. He brought me a carnation one day to apologize for whatever reason I found to not have to hang out with him at recess
- •Travis continuedBut kept it in his backpack all day so he gave it to me dead lol once we graduated high school he had a mental breakdown stole his friends car(this friend later got arrested for armed robbery-3 to be exact) and drove to Chicago never to be seen or heard from again. Oh and when we were younger he hacked into people's bank accounts and that's how he paid for things so upstanding citizen clearly, I guess we should have seen the car jacking coming.
- •"Sarah, Happy new year" -Jacob 7th gradeThis is the kid who found a love of heroine and armed robbery. Got busted for not stopping at a stop sign. They had the guns and masks in the car. Clearly his love of drugs had moved beyond weed at this point cause he had no idea what was going on. In college I watched him drag his very intoxicated gf up concrete steps crying and when she asked for water he handed her a handle of vodka. She was so fucked up she didn't know the difference.
- •"RAWR! Sorry I'm left handed" -Laura Thurber 8th gradeAll I remember is when she came back to visit later in life we went to a hipster coffee shop. I don't even remember what she looks like, sorry left handed dinosaur Laura
- •"I love you! This year was amazing in band" -Mackenzie 8th gradeIt was not amazing our band instructor forced me to watch pay it forward a second time. When it started I yelled PLEASE GOD NO and he laughed hysterically and told me I had to shut up and not "ruin the movie" for everyone else. If you haven't seen this movie don't. This girl hated me soon after because I asked a kid out for her over AIM and the sneaky bastard manipulated me into dating him instead. Repeat freshman year of high school when a random kid asked me out and she liked him too oops.
- •Mackenzie continuedJokes on me cause the AIM kid later sexually assaulted me giving me the WORST loss of virginity story imaginable. And the other kid she liked that I dated told me he thought pregnant girls were cute (I was 15 and hadn't even gotten my period) and when we broke up he started sleeping with someone to make me mad and knocked her up. You're welcome Mackenzie. Who is now permanently drunk and probably in a ditch somewhere? She has good hair though.
- •"I love you like a fat kid loves cake" -anonymously written several timesSomeone was really into 50 cent in 6th grade...
- •"U have a nice butt!" -Joanna Twist 8th gradeApparently she liked lying in people's yearbooks, rude. We had several drunk party experiences together. One of which I stripped down in front of my ex and proceeded to be the MVP of both volleyball teams. He sat and watched the whole thing even after his gf left haha not proud but not exactly ashamed either? Dude sucks.
- •"Stop bothering me" -John TwistJoanna's little brother. He was younger than us. Also very easily annoyed. I was overly nice to him and that pissed him off. He was so upset he couldn't spell "bothering".
- •"Swedish" -Jacob Reynolds 7th gradeBonus points for the doodle. Still one of the funniest people I know.
- •"Ride the Phantom... Man!" -Sean Harris 7th gradeHe's referring to a ride at Kennywood Park in Pa. I never rode the Phantom, man.
- •"SEBASTIAN AND HIS SKITTLES ROCK YOUR SOCKS" -Aden 7th gradeWHO IS THIS SEBASTIAN THAT YOU SPEAK OF?! This girl gave me my love of sims. Also @poweronyourvcr hated her because she used to call my house every day when she got home. We rode the same bus and she got dropped off at her house and I had to walk home a much farther distance. She called before I made it home every single day. Mary would tell her to wait ten minutes but she never did lol
- •"Don't let Harley Sign" -Reed 7th gradeOne of my best friends until St. Patrick's day when he slept with a very incoherent me. I ran from his apartment and when I got out on the street my cousin pulled up and I jumped in yelling "HOW DID YOU KNOW I NEED YOU WE HAVE COUSIN TELEPATHY". To which her response was "you called me... Twice". I coped by eating leftover Mac and cheese(ew) and apparently just kept dumping it on myself not making it to my mouth. I didn't notice.. Oh, Harley signed.
- •Harley signed twice, but the second one she seemed to address to herself lol
- •"That ever present source of annoyance that pissed you off for weeks now" -Samet 8th gradeGraduated way early. Pretty sure he was done with college before I even started. Had a very messy relationship with Laura the left handed dinosaur.