Inspired by @poweronyourvcr
  1. Guys I was awful. I tried to paint the walls in my room black, I tried to wear pajama pants ice skating(that is not the worst part of this ensemble), I dated guys who belonged in jail, this list could go on forever how did she not kill me.
  2. My brother
    Mostly with poor boy choices. Being an older brother can not be easy.
  3. My elementary school friends
    In high school I was the first to start dating and he was one of the best football players we had. (On the freshman team. I was just a freshman) they got mad and started rumors I lost my virginity and sent him naked pictures. He didn't own a cellphone to receive these rumored pictures? We had been friends since 3rd grade and I was absolutely crushed. They never apologized and somehow this was blamed on me. I'm still heartbroken when I think about it.
  4. My middle school friends
    My "best friend" picked solely because we both had the same awful friends and we both loved Harry Potter (she loved the movies not the books this should have been the first red flag) used my parents computer to mean girls style change information on our friends school wiki because she was a complete bitch and I had made it for her and had her password. We thought it was funny, she did not. The computer teacher wanted to murder us.
  5. Every guy I dated in high school
    They all sucked and they all cried when we broke up... I broke up with every guy I dated in Morgantown. The amount of times I heard "BUT I LOVED YOU" is excessive. They all still suck.
  6. Every trust fund baby that hit on me in a bar
    I let a kid buy me and all of my friends drinks all night with no interest because the first drink he bought he said "Daddy's gonna wonder what all of these five dollar charges to his card are" turns out he was sleeping with my friend even though she was dating his roommate. I regret nothing.
  7. Every girl Tyler dated or slept with before me
    This is a lot. I try not to think about it. One was my roommate, long story. One said they were dating on Insta because he didn't have one. We lived together. It took her two years to apologize because tyler almost murdered her. Another would only come over to do assignments if I wasn't home. Another married his friend but still tried to kill me(a list for another time) and then tried to convince him to leave me for her(reminder: she was still married to his friend. Tyler was in their wedding)
  8. My parents
    Seriously sorry 🙈
  9. My dogs
  10. The two girls people always told me were my doppelgängers
    We don't look alike. I was equally victimized by their existence.
  11. My sisters friends
    We literally jump high fived her friends face. It was hilarious. I don't remember how this happened but am super thankful for the kid who Facebook stalked me to send me the video.
  12. The mean girl in my philosophy class who thought it was okay to insult me and my friends loudly
    I'm Irish and Italian just because I seem laid back does not mean I will not rip your throat out. My retort caused her to move as far away from me as possible. Her issue was literally that I talked to my friend beside me. She thought I was a sorority girl so apparently that was enough to hate me and openly insult me.
  13. The woman at one community who wanted me dead for driving 2mph over the 15mph speed limit in the community.
    She called the warranty line to complain lol
  14. The woman who's sons BF almost got me fired for agreeing that she was vocal
    Apparently I was gonna give him a house for free too
  15. My high school best friends best friend before me
    She literally screamed at Kay for staying the night at my house... And still hates me to this day. Sorry crazypants.
  16. Everyone who followed me on social media at any point
    Continuously embarrassed by my younger self. Someone needed to tell her to chill.
  17. Probably a lot of people I've met drunk
    Especially guys who got angry when I said "sorry I have a boyfriend". I know it's shocking people in commited relationship are also allowed in bars.
  18. Wow this is really long