THINGS I WOULD HAVE IF I WAS RICH

Dreaming of the perks not the money
  1. My own Starbucks barista
    Seasonal coffee too. Brought to me periodically throughout the day
  2. A new jeep
    Fuck payments I'd pay in cash
  3. 3000 dogs
  4. A staff to feed/bathe/walk said dogs
    I just want to love them with none of the responsibility
  5. A personal chef
    Who isn't too good to throw on some Kraft Mac and cheese when I ask but can also make weird classy shit
  6. A lifetime supply of Stewart's Cotton Candy Ice cream
    They don't ship large quantities and I'm extremely unhappy about it