THINGS MY DOGS DO THAT MAKE ME LAUGH

Plus thoughts on what they're thinking
  1. Attack me as I walk in the door
    OH HEY OH MY GOD GUESS WHAT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ALL DAY AND NOW YOU'RE HERE AND I HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY LETS GO OUTSIDE LETS EAT FOOD LETS PLAY OH MY GOD MOM HI
  2. Itch when they try to jump on the chair with me and I say no
    Human, I didn't want to cuddle with you either I just had a really bad itch.
  3. Jump on the chair I'm sitting on and sit on me
    This chair was a lot more comfortable last time.... Oh are you sitting here? Can I lay on top of you? Never mind I prefer the couch *moves to the top of the couch*
  4. Promptly use the couch to walk over to the chair I'm on
    But mom THE FLOOR IS LAVA
  5. Stare at me from across the room for extended periods of time
    Mom I am kicking your ass at this staring contest! You don't even know how many times you've blinked already.
  6. Attack me when they want to play
    Mom, toy. Mom. MOM. MOOOOOOM. *tackles me to the floor* now that I have your attention, here's my toy. We're playing now.
  7. Hendrix will always wait until my wife gets home before he eats.
    I get home, walk him, feed him and he's like nice try dude you know I gotta wait until mom is here.
    Suggested by   @HisDudeness