TOTALLY UNNECESSARY THINGS I WOULD DO EVERY MONTH IF I WAS A REAL PERSON

  1. Fill my gas tank
    Okay maybe that's necessary...
  2. Get my nails done
    It looks so pretty even though it takes me an hour to type "bring me food"
  3. Get my hair done
    My ends have like 3 inches of dead disgustingness but it's either give up coffee and pizza or let my hair slowly die... Naturally I chose pizza
  4. Whiten my teeth
    $50?! WHY CREST WHY
  5. Get coffee every morning
    Not that I don't already pay my baristas in quarters sometimes but actual bills will make me feel more together
  6. Drink wine. All. The. Time.
    It's a daily want but $13 a day of wine is not exactly in my budget just yet and since I get told I'm "the most awkward human" in bars that free drink thing is not really an option... I might be getting away from the real person thing...
  7. Eat meals that consist of more than pasta
    I might not do this.....