Requested by Dan

[The Insane] Uk Election Results Explained to Dumb People Like Me

The election results were fucking crazy. There are 650 seats and 326 are needed for a majority in order to have control over the legislature and the PM position. These are the things you should know
  1. 1.
    The Conservative Party won a majority, despite consistently being projected as being 40 seats shy of it. Even the most generous exit polls didn't have them getting a majority, making this a (devastating) shock.
  2. 2.
    Labour got wrecked despite consistently being projected as being only about 20-30 seats behind the Conservatives.
  3. 3.
    Labour got wrecked mostly because of the Scottish National Party (SNP) who took every seat in Scotland bar 2 (one of them being mine, the only Labour seat left in Scotland).
  4. 4.
    The SNP pretend to be a left-wing, progressive party, but they aren't. They were the ones fighting for Scottish Independence the last few years and got a lot of No voters to vote for them by pretending to be left.
    This Economist article helps explain: http://econ.st/1Rkywjh
  5. 5.
    Labour had its second-in-command lose his seat after holding it for several terms. They had other major losses, mostly to the SNP, including a 20 year old beating out another person in the leadership.
  6. 6.
    Scottish Labour Leader Jim Murphy lost his seat in Glasgow after holding it for 18 years.
  7. 7.
    By 2PM today, 3 major party leaders resigned after the results (Ed Miliband of Labour, Nick Clegg of Liberal Democrats, and Nigel Farage of UKIP). It's expected David Cameron, the re-elected PM of the Conservatives, will step down soon to be replaced by Boris Johnson who, even if you hate the Tories, is a fucking delight (and pretty moderate).
  8. 8.
    A personal note on Scotland: This result is devastating. Nationalism is an awful thing and after the referendum on independence in September I thought that was going to be the end of it for awhile. Now I'm stuck with a terrible party running the country I live in and have several close friends who no longer have jobs because of Labour's losses.
  9. 9.
    A personal note on all of the UK: I don't despise the Tories, but Labour being so far behind them does not look good for moderates or lefties. Plus, this means that the UK will now have a national referendum on leaving the EU, which as an EU citizen (ty Greece), is scary. If they leave, my chances of getting to stay here after graduation get slim.