My definitive ranking of characters on Gilmore Girls, from worst to best. I really only included the characters that left a distinct impression on me. Feel free to disagree, but I think I'm pretty spot on. Beware of spoilers.
  1. ABSOLUTE LAST - April Nardini
    The easiest ranking. She ruins everything and is a nerd. Do I have to say anything else?
  2. 23. Mitchum Huntzberger
    Super rude narcissist. Not significant enough for a long explanation.
  3. 22. Taylor Doose
    I get that he is supposed to be annoying, but he is SO ANNOYING.
  4. 21. Michel Gerard
    His sass is not charming to me. He is whiny and self centered. Do you not realize how much Lorelai has done for you? And you treat her as if you're superior. SHE'S YOUR BOSS! He would have a worse rank if he didn't slightly remind me of Tony Parker.
  5. 20. TJ
    He's sweet sometimes, but he's also an idiot.
  6. 19. Kirk Gleason
    Weird as hell
  7. 18. Babette & Miss Patty
    I think I'm supposed to like them??? But all they do is gossip and spread bad news??? Not a big fan even if they adore Rory. I lumped them together because they aren't much different.
  8. 17. Zach Van Gerbig
    He'll never be as good as Dave Rygalski.
  9. 16. Liz Danes
    She can be great but she's also ignorant and selfish. Mainly her voice bothers me. I can't explain it.
  10. 15. Jackson Belleville
    Him and Sookie are cute, but he's obnoxious. Gotta love squash though.
  11. 14. Marty
    Very charming. Being a hopeless romantic, I always cheer for the underdog. I still kinda feel bad for the guy, but he got bumped down for his behavior in season 7.
  12. 13. Dave Rygalski
    Infinitely cuter/sweeter/smarter/better than Zach Van Gerbig. Would have a better ranking if he stuck around longer.
  13. 12. Dean Forrester
    Okay so Dean is simultaneously the best and worst. A great first love but also such a dud. He gains points for being so dang cute, but he loses points for cheating on his wife with Rory/getting married in the first place.
  14. 11. Richard Gilmore
    Nice guy but also living in another century I think??? Not gonna say much because RIP Edward Hermann.
  15. 10. Sookie St. James
    Love her in moderation.
  16. 9. Lane Kim
    Lane is the perfect best friend for Rory, but WHAT KIND OF PERSON CHOOSES ZACH OVER DAVE RYGALSKI???
  17. 8. Luke Danes
    Okay here's the deal. Everyone loves Luke but in reality he's a grumpy square. Lorelai deserves someone so much more interesting!! My head said that but my heart said to still put him in the top 10.
  18. 7. Emily Gilmore
    A lot of the time she is terrible, but when she shows her soft side I cry. Also she is the funniest character on this show. There's something about ignorant privilege that makes me LOL.
  19. 6. Jess Mariano
    So so hot. But let's be honest with ourselves. He treated Rory terribly!! Gets extra points because I think I'm in love with him.
  20. 5. Christopher Hayden
    Even though it always falls through and he manages to flake 100% of the time, Christopher is the perfect match for Lorelai. Super cute and witty. Makes the top 5 by a small margin.
  21. 4. Paris Gellar
    It should be noted that the top 4 are way above the rest of the group. Paris is a badass and one of the funniest people to watch. Her and Doyle are perfect. She would have a better ranking if it weren't for her years of tormenting Rory at Chilton.
  22. 3. Rory Gilmore
    It's hard to summarize THE Rory Gilmore. Amazing. My idol. She gets stuck with the bronze only because of Dean Round 2 and also that period when she dropped out of Yale and didn't talk to her mom was so lame.
  23. 2. Logan Huntzberger
    He started as such a jerk, but do not even try to tell me that by season 7 he wasn't the sweetest, cutest, most in-love-with-Rory boy ever!!!!! I will fight all of you on this.
  24. 1. Lorelai Gilmore
    Don't get me wrong; Lorelai has flaws. But if I could be as simultaneously beautiful, independent, and witty as her, I would have everything I ever need.