A WEEK AGO TODAY I WENT TO THE SHORTY AWARDS!

It was crazy. In a good way!
  1. The Shortys are social media awards. I was nominated for best writer (on social media, not altogether in the world. As if!).
    I was up against Elizabeth Gilbert and JK Rowling, among others. I did not have my hopes up for a win.
  2. I invited my friend @jennyhan to be my date because I knew she'd insist we do it up big.
    We did. Hair and makeup at the hotel, red carpet walk, the after party. I am so lame would have skipped, well, all three?
  3. We went to a VIP cocktail hour first and stood in line for ages for red carpet.
    Personalities there included: Al Roker, two women from Orange is the New Black (one the warden, one a prisoner who worked with Red in kitchen) Jiff the Pom Dog, and a pot smoking senior named Baddie Winkle.
  4. I had not worn so much makeup since I was on Good Morning America, and that was because television. Facetimed my husband, who was taken aback, to say the least.
    I did kind of like it. But wondered how Real Housewives do it, like, ALL the time?
  5. Also, I totally pressured Jenny into getting me an introduction to Christian Siriano, because she Knows People.
    He was lovely. Too bad I look like a bad drag queen in this picture.
  6. These were only a few of the people there. It was a bit overwhelming.
    Other big name: DJ Khaled. I took a picture of the back of his head, because I am a giant nerd.
  7. Then the show began. The guy responsible for Pizza Rat won best GIF.
    After running down aisle yelling, "Pizza Rat! Pizza rat!" he gave a surprisingly uplifting and emotional speech about following your dreams.
  8. Then it was my turn. As it turned out, insanely, I tied!
    Never again will I see these two names like this together. Hence, the picture.
  9. I made a quick speech, total blur. Backstage they said they didn't have my award so they would ship it to me.
    They DID give me a box for it, which I carried around all night like it WAS an award because, again, I am a total nerd.
  10. After the awards, we went to the after party.
    I was up SO late past my bedtime and exhausted, but it was fun to see the revelry. I ended up in long convo with nice couple outside about how Snapchat is like having your own reality show and I should not fear it. (I still kind of do.)
  11. Went to bed at 1:30 in the morning. I'm still paying for it.
    Totally worth it, though.