Not that I haven't tried, mind you.
  1. "You look like bass player from Rush."
    This was from a boy I had a crush on, when I was 14. "Closer To The Heart," indeed.
  2. "Are you Michael Dessen's sister?" *followed by slow, sad clicking of tongue when I said I was*
    Vice principal of my high school. He was three years older and a great student. I was a mess and a total pothead.
  3. "Well, then I guess your best isn't good enough."
    Art professor in college, when I said I had worked so hard on the project for which he gave me a C. He was right, actually: I am no artist.
  4. "Duh."
    Customer I was waiting on very early in my waitress career, in college, when I had to check menu for difference between ultimate and regular wings. I'd found out a half an hour earlier I made Phi Beta Kappa.
  5. "Still want to publish your novel?"
    Woman in restroom at a publishing institute my parents paid for me to attend when I was waiting tables after college. I'd raised my hand in previous session to ask question to visiting author about criticism.
  6. "Well, someone has to do it."
    Said by visiting National Book Award winning author, when my boss at UNC introduced me as someone who wrote YA fiction. No, I will not say who it was.
  7. "You can get a long way on bitterness and revenge."
    My dad, observing my ability to remember every slight, ever. He's right.