WAYS I AM BECOMING MY PARENTS

It's inevitable.
  1. Grumpy when newspaper is late or doesn't show up at all.
  2. Compulsion to check mailbox.
  3. Anxiety about the trifecta: weather, parking and traffic.
  4. Still have land line.
  5. Always talking about The Way Things Used To Be.
  6. Default setting: that way was better.
  7. Avoid beloved foods for digestive reasons.
  8. Discussing said reasons.
  9. Really cranky without a nap.
  10. Always complaining that stores don't open early enough.
  11. Or that social events start too late.
  12. Quick to remind my seven year old that money does not grow on trees.
  13. Will nag anyone about seat belts, sunscreen and bike helmets.
  14. Need a drink at end of day, preferably with some crunchy snacks.