THINGS I THOUGHT WERE TRUE BUT WERE ACTUALLY LIES

Basically I'm an idiot
  1. I thought pound coins were made of gold, and couldn't understand why a pound coin was worth a pound but had more gold than a gold ring which could be worth £100's.
  2. Our appendix wasn't used to digest grass when we were monkeys. And we don't need it anymore because we don't eat grass anymore. This is not true. I don't think humans ever ate grass either.
  3. The swan is not the third largest land mammal in Africa. It's not even a mammal.
  4. Nelson Mandela never played God in Bruce Almighty.
  5. I thought that beluga whales were the size of koi carp but with whale proportions. Only because I was told this though.
  6. Unicorns aren't real, much to my disappointment.
  7. Elton John is bald and actually wears wigs. Since when?
  8. When I was about 2 or 3 my sister Hayley got me to eat a bar of soap by telling me it would help me see the spider down the plug hole.
  9. You don't have to change your name to smeaton to become the keeper of smeatons tower (Plymouth lighthouse).
  10. I genuinely didn't understand why Gordon Brown could be the prime minister of England when he's Scottish.
  11. Winston Churchill is not 'that man with the boat'.
  12. You can't feel heat coming from jalapeños with your hand. It's more likely the candle behind them burning your hand. Probably.
  13. Tina Turner is black. I still claim that she is the whitest black woman I've ever seen.