THINGS I THOUGHT WERE TRUE BUT WERE ACTUALLY LIES
Basically I'm an idiot
- •I thought pound coins were made of gold, and couldn't understand why a pound coin was worth a pound but had more gold than a gold ring which could be worth £100's.
- •Our appendix wasn't used to digest grass when we were monkeys. And we don't need it anymore because we don't eat grass anymore. This is not true. I don't think humans ever ate grass either.
- •The swan is not the third largest land mammal in Africa. It's not even a mammal.
- •Nelson Mandela never played God in Bruce Almighty.
- •I thought that beluga whales were the size of koi carp but with whale proportions. Only because I was told this though.
- •Unicorns aren't real, much to my disappointment.
- •Elton John is bald and actually wears wigs. Since when?
- •When I was about 2 or 3 my sister Hayley got me to eat a bar of soap by telling me it would help me see the spider down the plug hole.
- •You don't have to change your name to smeaton to become the keeper of smeatons tower (Plymouth lighthouse).
- •I genuinely didn't understand why Gordon Brown could be the prime minister of England when he's Scottish.
- •Winston Churchill is not 'that man with the boat'.
- •You can't feel heat coming from jalapeños with your hand. It's more likely the candle behind them burning your hand. Probably.
- •Tina Turner is black. I still claim that she is the whitest black woman I've ever seen.