EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT DINOSAURS

  1. 1.
    All of them are dead, and most of them are drop-dead gorgeous!!!!
  2. 2.
    You can evade the classic evolution/intelligent design/dinosaur problem by accepting that God is a dinosaur, as I have.
  3. 3.
    When dinosaurs die, their bones are replaced with rocks shaped like their bones (fossils). Not sure where the bones go!?!?
  4. 4.
    The word dinosaur means "terrible lizard" which feels really judgy to me.
  5. 5.
    Some dinosaurs were cute, but NONE of them were hot.
  6. 6.
    Nobody knows what color dinosaurs were, but I think it's safe to assume leopard print.
  7. 7.
    Dinosaurs became extinct because they were all gay.