GREAT IDEAS FOR THINGS THAT HAVE NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE

  1. World Peace
  2. Strict observance of TACO TUESDAY
  3. Any ten items on KFC's to-do list
  4. A free genie-in-the-bottle at birth for everyone
  5. Tapping your foot more times per second than that one guy from Riverdance
  6. Real news
  7. A cure for whatever ails you
  8. Every show I want on demand at all times without ever having to record it (see genie clause)
  9. Paying writers fairly right now
  10. Fully-indestructible audio cables
  11. Time-space continuum amnesty
  12. Barbara Feldon coming back to life
  13. Don Adams coming back to life
  14. Mel Brooks being guaranteed to live forever, obvi with the beautiful Ann Bancroft, but they probably wouldn't want that so that's rude
  15. Me knowing more about Buck Henry
  16. My lists not riding such a sharp curve from the abstract to the obsessive
  17. My being less transparent about how obsessively I watched Nick at Night as a child