MY MORNING ROUTINE

"Morning" is subjective, here. I usually wake up between 1 and 3 PM, EST. This is 100% acceptable and forgiveable in my line of work, but should in no way be construed as decadence, laziness, or any portion of a "normative" solar / lunar cycle.
  1. Mumble to myself
  2. Try to speak coherently to myself
  3. Fail at
  4. Fail at
  5. Fail at
  6. Brush teeth
  7. Eat oatmeal, have coffee, maybe
  8. Observe text messages
  9. Crisis 1
  10. Crisis 2
  11. Crisis 3
  12. Shuffleshuffleshuffle
  13. Snacksnacksnack
  14. Errand
  15. Repair
  16. Errand
  17. Repair
  18. Strongly-worded letter
  19. Thinly-veiled threat
  20. High-five
  21. Low-five
  22. Baby-five
  23. Pants?
  24. People
  25. Listen through headphones
  26. Soundcheck
  27. Hear through speakers
  28. Cleanse
  29. Exit
  30. Mortal Kombat