EMBARRASSING FACTS YOU WILL LEARN ABOUT ME WHEN I'M DRUNK

  1. "I love karaoke. But like, I take it very seriously. Like you don't even know how seriously. I like, take it very seriously."
    @nataliarodas discovered this at the @list meetup and I also told her about my secret account on an app where you record yourself singing karaoke with random strangers oops!!!!!!!!!!!
  2. I'll tell you either that a) "You're my best friend and I just love you and treasure you so much" b) "I love you so much like secretly and I wish we were best friends"
    I say both of these to people I truly loathe also btw
  3. How not drunk I am
    "Guys I'm fine"
  4. "I can rap all the lyrics to this song"
    And then I'll demonstrate and won't be able to
  5. "I can open a beer bottle with my teeth"
    I really need to stop doing this
  6. "I can put my whole fist in my mouth"
    Like why, stop
  7. Details of my heavy periods
    How many tampons I use, how long they last, filling up entire Diva Cups... I try to one up people on this???? It's all I have guys
  8. "I saw Justin Timberlake and Beyonce live on Ellen!"
    Not embarrassing but does come out while drunk and is pretty dope so
  9. I'll tell literally everyone who I'm ~crushin~ on
    "No one knows this but..." Everyone knows. Because you told everyone.
  10. Yelling at you if you don't like something I like
    Yelling. In your face yelling. Or if you're wrong about something. Or if you like something I don't like. I slapped my friend for saying she liked "Blurred Lines" so
  11. You'll see me fall down, guar-an-teed
    Probably would also happen if we hung out sober
  12. Anyway I'm fun, let's get drinks