FOOD MASCOTS I MATCHED WITH ON OKCUPID

happy valentime's
  1. The Starkist Tuna
    We went on a couple dates, but he was always making too many jokes. And I couldn't take the hat. I stayed for the Brooklyn accent
  2. Mr. Peanut
    I thought it was charming to date a hipster who wore a monocle at first but then he kept trying to explain to me why Lolita isn't sexist
  3. Tony the Tiger
    Too into sports
  4. Mayor McCheese
    He got too political on Facebook, but damn do I like that face
  5. The Red M&M
    He was always so frazzled but then also very thirsty? He always said he and the green M&M were just friends but like... Please.
  6. The Nesquik Bunny
    Such a fuckboy. Still texts me at 2am sometimes. This is his favorite emoji: 😜
  7. The Red Lobster Lobster
    He's my lobster