GROW UP

things people do that make me say "grow up!" even though i am a hardly functioning adult
  1. Adults who have elaborate birthday celebrations
    Limos, trolleys, party buses, anything you have to rent. The second your parents stop paying for your birthday parties is the second you should stop spending excess amounts of money on them. Turning 24 just isn't that significant, sorry.
  2. Being afraid of clowns
    Unless you have a legitimate phobia this is obnoxious to me. Maybe cuz my grandma was a clown
  3. When someone says "so-and-so and I aren't speaking"
    What even is that? Huh? It's fine if you're not talking to someone but declaring to the world that you're "not speaking" status is the worst
  4. Giving a limp handshake
    Seriously? Put in a little effort
  5. Wearing a long sleeve shirt over a short sleeve shirt
    Is your short sleeve shirt really THAT important?
  6. Drinking orange Gatorade
    Honestly what is even wrong with you?
  7. Eating biscotti
    Your grandma isn't making you so what's your basis?
  8. Saying bye to everyone when you leave the office
    You can just leave