@calliegorman watched this last night expecting to be delighted by cute penguins and were just very upset by it, we fast forwarded through a lot but these were our takeaways:
  1. Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman star as Elvis and Marilyn Monroe impersonators
    It's really bad, Penguin Nicole Kidman is named NORMA JEAN and has a beauty mark on her feathers. Jackman Penguin is named MEMPHIS. Their impressions are unbearable
  2. Female penguins had sexy bods and baby voices
    They all talked like sexy babies, and they have like tapered waist lines AND pink lips until the male penguins... Like rly?!
  3. Depressing af
    The plot is that all penguins have "heart songs" except this one baby penguin can't sing at all and everyone is fucking rude to him about it, he's an outcast and it's terrible. Then he almost gets eaten by giant birds!
  4. Baby penguins are cute af but grow up after the first half hour
    I feel lied to
  5. Odd song choices
    I am into the 70s vibe but "Boogie Wonderland" is too obscure and instrumental for kids to enjoy?
  6. Penguins grinding
    That happened
  7. "Let's talk about EGGS baby"
    One of the penguins sang this to the tune of "let's talk about sex"
  8. One of the breeds of penguins is Hispanic?
    This one breed of penguin all have Spanish accents for some reason? And Robin Williams is doing one of them? I guess it's good to have representation but it was an odd and stereotyped portrayal
  9. No one cared about penguins until they danced
    The plot is basically humans see a dancing penguin at a zoo and therefore decide to stop fishing in Antarctica to save penguins
  10. Real people but animated penguins?
    The people are real life but the penguins are animated it is JARRING
  11. Weird environmental montage
    There's a strange black and white montage of like the news of dancing penguins spreading and Senate hearings and news stories to save the dancing penguins at the end of the movie? Comes outta nowhere
  12. Space motifs?
    The opening and closing credits are sweeping shots of space?
  13. Not fully developed but had a child?
    The main penguin still looks like a teen penguin even after he procreates?
  14. Honestly it was a mess
    @calliegorman and I just watched clips from "Babe" to get the fuzzy cuteness we wanted. 10/10 recommend