ON CREATIVITY & SELF DOUBT

  1. Isn't it funny how confident you can be in your creative work until someone asks to see it?
  2. Isn't it funny how even after people see it and respond positively, you still feel like they're laughing behind your back?
  3. Isn't it funny how the higher and higher your creative success goes, the more and more you feel this way?
  4. Can you ever reach a point of satisfaction?
  5. Or is this the fuel that keeps you doing interesting work?
  6. Is complacency the downfall of creativity?
  7. Or is creativity your downfall in the first place?
  8. I ask myself these questions all the time.
  9. And then I tell myself, how dare you?
  10. Such audacity you must have to think you're even allowed to think this way.
  11. Maybe I'm just too self-centered.
  12. Maybe I'm just in my twenties.
  13. I feel paralyzed by my vanity and my anxiety.
  14. And then I think, are you serious?
  15. Pretentious much?
  16. No one wants to hear it.
  17. And then I think, fuck them, they're gonna hear it anyway.
  18. And then I try to talk about it and people don't always understand.
  19. Why can't you just be happy with the way things are?
  20. Be patient.
  21. And so I subsequently question myself, trying to dissect what everyone else is thinking.
  22. Not everyone is special. Especially not you.
  23. I'm obsessively waiting for an answer on whether I am good enough.
  24. But I don't think that ever comes.
  25. At least not from anyone else.
  26. Is this just another millennial think piece?
  27. Eyeroll.