PORTRAITS ON AMERICAN CURRENCY, RANKED BY SEXINESS

I decide who is bangable and who is Grover Cleveland
  1. 1.
    Alexander Hamilton, $10
    Duh, the sexiest person maybe ever
  2. 2.
    Sacajawea, $1
    A beautiful and resourceful lady. She's got great side eye game here, lost points for having a baby with her, but still way sexier than the majority of these bozos
  3. 3.
    John F. Kennedy, $0.50
    Obviously sexy af
  4. 4.
    Ulysses S. Grant, $50
    I really think he could throw down, he is so rugged
  5. 5.
    Abraham Lincoln, $5
    Bone structure for days
  6. 6.
    George Washington, $0.25
    Glistening silver fox
  7. 7.
    Statue of Liberty, $1,000,000
    A strong, sensual woman
  8. 8.
    Abraham Lincoln, $0.01
    Bone structure is less noticeable but still hot
  9. 9.
    George Washington, $1
    Still hot even when not glistening
  10. 10.
    Andrew Jackson, $20
    Scary af which might make for a good time
  11. 11.
    Benjamin Franklin, $100
    Is probably into weird shit but would also not mind if you brought snacks
  12. 12.
    Thomas Jefferson, $0.05
    Annoying but I see some cheekbone action here, hate sex could be a possibility
  13. 13.
    Woodrow Wilson, $100,000
    Would probably ask "Are you okay?" a lot
  14. 14.
    Franklin Delano Roosevelt, $0.10
    Would be much more highly ranked if this was a portrait of Edward Hermann AS Roosevelt
  15. 15.
    James Madison, $5,000
    Too mousy
  16. 16.
    Thomas Jefferson, $2
    Jefferson is obviously annoying and he really could have used a juice cleanse before this portrait was drawn, ya look tired boy
  17. 17.
    William McKinley, $500
    Do you know what his favorite dish is? It was in the paper. Beef!
  18. 18.
    Grover Cleveland, $1,000
    Reminds me too much of the conniving Walrus from Alice in Wonderland
  19. 19.
    Salmon P. Chase, $10,000
    Who even is this?