An updated version for the modern era
  1. Moves to NYC to work for BuzzFeed and marry Jonah Perretti
  2. Rents an apartment in SoHo with Gigi Hadid who's just trying to be a normal person
  3. Their landlord tries to sell them into being camgirls
  4. Ends up falling in love with a writer who turns out to be Taylor Swift's brother
  5. Taylor Swift is Muzzy and sings "Welcome to New York"
  6. The end