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As a reminder, I WORK AT SAG AFTRA and this is the garbage I hear. These are all paraphrased unless stated otherwise. This is on-going.
- •"The new Katy Perry is very hot. She has a new haircut, she's blonde. She has this album out Witness. There's a song I really like, let me find it" (two minutes of scrolling later...what can it be?!) "it's called Swish Swish. It's very explicit, the whole album. She's definitely elevated herself but it's very good check it out"She was describing this to a way older, male coworkers. Kinda feel shitty saying this but it's also important to know he's black. What old, black man is listening to Katy fucking Perry?
- •(Talking about an actress she was on the phone with) "she does stunts. Oh wow she's beautiful. She said she was on set, I bet it was Game of Thrones since they're coming back in a few weeks"Does my coworker think GoT films like a fucking sitcom?! Also GoT is filmed like, exclusively in Europe. She was on this actor's IMDb page too so like, look it up?
- •(more on GoT) "I don't watch that show but I wonder who she plays. You know Jason Mamoa is on that show"Yeah in season one and then he dies, next
- •Fixing toiletsClogs, filling up the bowl, making sure it drains properly, care and keeping of
- •Returning items to a store and receiving a full refund and/or store credit
- •Walking through crowdsJASON BOURNE AINT GOT SHIT ON ME
RIP to the GOAT. I know I'm a West Coast girl now, but to me Biggie is the greatest and definitely my favorite rapper of all time. Here are my favorite lines of his:
- •Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis / when I was dead broke man I couldn't picture this (Juicy)THIS ENTIRE VERSE IS 🔥🔥🔥 but I love the internal rhyming and use of alliteration with the "s" sounds. And this whole song is just...a masterpiece. Also he was 19 when he recorded this. So yeah, a 19 year old's idea of success is owning video games.
- •Hail Mary full of Grace / smacked the bitch in her face take her Gucci bag and her North Face (Dead Wrong)I went to a private catholic university in the Midwest, so this verse speaks to me personally
- •So we can steam on the way to the telly, go fill my belly / A T-bone steak, cheese, eggs, and welch's grape (Big Poppa)I just like this imagery. Imagine if some dude took you back to some crazy penthouse in Brooklyn and he pours you Welch's grape juice like wtf? Lil Cease come get your boy
A wild look into my stomach
- •Hot dogs and hamburgersYeah, this is devastating.
- •Chicken McNuggetsAgain, devastating.
- •DairyI can still eat mac and cheese but only if it's Kraft. This isn't as bad as I thought it would be
- •Margaritas ordered ON THE ROCKS
- •Anyone who uses a coffee potKeurigs are for douches and French press are for pretentious assholes
- •$20 or less dates
This list will never stop growing.
- •A chipotle in Santa Monica
- •The Orlando airport
- •A Chili's in Inglewood
Don't argue with me, I am both a fílme expert and a disco connoisseur
- 4.Oscar Isaac and Sonoya Mizuno in "Ex Machina"Though short, gotta believe Oscar tore up that fuckin' dance floor!!!
- 3.Bradley Cooper and Amy Adams in "American Hustle"Mr. Cooper? In the perm and the leisure suit? Wow.
- 2.John Travolta and Karen Gorney in "Saturday Night Fever"My first dance at my wedding will be the aptly choreographed banger "More Than A Woman" because of this scene
- 1.Goofy and Sylvia Marpoole in "An Extremely Goofy Movie"Honestly if you went into this list and expected a different outcome, you don't know me at all. Also that's BEBE NEUWIRTH
This is an ever-growing list (unfortunately)
- •Cate Blanchett
- •Harrison Ford
- •JJ Abrams
No one asked but here they are IN ORDER
- •1. "The Throne Room/End Titles" - A New HopeOmg this shit goes ALL THE WAY AWF!!! I can recite this entire thing by heart, including the moments when Artoo comes back and Chewie growls at the end. Also how sexy are Han and Luke when they walk down that aisle? Omg that YELLOW JACKET!! What an icon
- •2. "Binary Sunset" - A New HopeYou're fucking lying to me if you don't get chills when the horns and the wind instruments come together for that sweeping force theme. And the boyish intro is just so beautiful like wow. Wow John Williams
- •3. "Imperial March" - all of them really, but A New HopeTHIS FUCKING SHIT MAKES ME HEAD BANG!!
Every time I'm drunk I ask someone to play one of the following:
- •Emotions - Mariah Carey
- •Any and all Selena (and typically someone plays Bidi Bidi Bom Bom but what I REALLY want is Techno Cumbia)
- •All Star - Smash Mouth (shocking!)