A list of things that I am uniquely good at

  1. Fixing toilets
    Clogs, filling up the bowl, making sure it drains properly, care and keeping of
  2. Returning items to a store and receiving a full refund and/or store credit
  3. Walking through crowds
    JASON BOURNE AINT GOT SHIT ON ME
  4. Waiting in long lines
  5. Making elderly, woc laugh
    I would just say "elderly women" but old white women don't really fuck with me 😬 oh well!
  6. First impressions
    Introduce me to your friends and then later they'll say "omg your friend Sarah is so funny!"
  7. Getting along with your pet
    "He's shy" bitch not with me
  8. That thing where an actor drops or breaks a prop on stage and I came into the next scene and casually strike it from the set and the audience is none the wiser
  9. Wearing corsets
  10. Puke and rally