EVERYTHING I COULD DO TO AVOID THIS PAPER

Because it's due this Thursday and I haven't started it yet, but I have plenty of time, right?
  1. Change the cat litter
  2. Laundry
  3. Broad City marathon while I update my resume.
  4. Nap this hangover away.
  5. Pray someone wants to FaceTime even though I would do the responsible thing and "focus on my paper."
  6. Write about totally unrelated things.
  7. Read Patti Smith
  8. Get my eyebrows on point.
  9. Study French.
  10. Thinking about writing really really hard till the paper materializes.
  11. Sign up for The List App.