IRRATIONAL FEARS OF A SOON-TO-BE FIRST TIME MOM
I'm having a baby. The fears are real.
- •That the baby inside isn't a human baby.... but a baby calfI had this dream once
- •Unknowingly being in labor at home and the baby comes out and falls into the toiletGERMS!! AAAAAAH!!!!
- •Not realizing how far labor has progressed and not making it to the hospital in timeIf we have this baby in the car on the 405 I'll be SO PISSED
- •That the hospital will make a mistake and I end up going home with the wrong babyI'm pretty sure this has happened in real life
- •Accidentally leaving her in the car seat on the roof of the car while loading groceries and forget and then driving awayI'm not even 5 ft tall and can't even reach the top of the car, let alone lift the car seat to put it up there.... But STILL!
- •Forgetting to change her diaper .... like for daysThis episode of Family Guy comes to mind: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XrRi172ojVg
- •Forgetting to feed herI know I won't forget to do this..... But still
- •My husband and I will NEVER EVER EVER have sex again.... and that I'll be totally fine with thatThis is the least irrational of them all
- •And the one time we do have sex she'll somehow see or hear us and be scarred for lifeHello therapy bills for the next 20 years
- •Accidental drowning in like a half inch of water in the tubWhat if she rolls over in the bath tub RIGHT at the moment I look away for a SPLIT SECOND?!???
- •Accidentally running the washer with her in unknowingly insideWhat if she's trying to play hide and seek and crawls into the washer without my knowing?!?!?
- •After the baby is born, I'll still look pregnant..... FOREVERSigh.