IRRATIONAL FEARS OF A SOON-TO-BE FIRST TIME MOM

I'm having a baby. The fears are real.
  1. That the baby inside isn't a human baby.... but a baby calf
    I had this dream once
  2. Unknowingly being in labor at home and the baby comes out and falls into the toilet
    GERMS!! AAAAAAH!!!!
  3. Not realizing how far labor has progressed and not making it to the hospital in time
    If we have this baby in the car on the 405 I'll be SO PISSED
  4. That the hospital will make a mistake and I end up going home with the wrong baby
    I'm pretty sure this has happened in real life
  5. Accidentally leaving her in the car seat on the roof of the car while loading groceries and forget and then driving away
    I'm not even 5 ft tall and can't even reach the top of the car, let alone lift the car seat to put it up there.... But STILL!
  6. Forgetting to change her diaper .... like for days
    This episode of Family Guy comes to mind: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XrRi172ojVg
  7. Forgetting to feed her
    I know I won't forget to do this..... But still
  8. My husband and I will NEVER EVER EVER have sex again.... and that I'll be totally fine with that
    This is the least irrational of them all
  9. And the one time we do have sex she'll somehow see or hear us and be scarred for life
    Hello therapy bills for the next 20 years
  10. Accidental drowning in like a half inch of water in the tub
    What if she rolls over in the bath tub RIGHT at the moment I look away for a SPLIT SECOND?!???
  11. Accidentally running the washer with her in unknowingly inside
    What if she's trying to play hide and seek and crawls into the washer without my knowing?!?!?
  12. After the baby is born, I'll still look pregnant..... FOREVER
    Sigh.