I'd been home at my parents' for just a few days when Dad says he needs a pedicure soon if my sister and I'd like to tag along. And yes, we got him hooked on the things.
  1. *NSync blasting
  2. "I butchered the chickens." "What do you mean butchered?" "Cut their heads off."
  3. "I might still be an MMA fighter, someday." -- said with all seriousness by the man doing my toes. I've seen bigger guys in middle school.
  4. Now Michael Jackson cause THRILLER.
  5. "I wouldn't sell him eggs. I'd never see my cartons again!"
  6. "My husband asked me to get a bottle of champagne at Kroger. I asked him why."
  7. "Apparently somebody came by and scanned my purse and now they've stolen my identity!"
  8. And now...BEAT IT.
  9. "Is it alright if I use the cheese grater on you?" And no shit, he pulls out a hand grater.
  10. More Justin Timberlake than I can tick off...oh wait...more MJ...