Things My Friend Juan Says, Part 2

@Juan23 thank you for these gems.
  1. "You know what I hate? Those Dior commercials. Like, don't whisper so loud in my face, ya know?"
  2. "I don't understand why it's called 'surfing the web,' it makes more sense to call it "crawling the web" like a little spider."
  3. "I miss phone booths."
  4. "I don't even know what a mosh pit is, it's like a people cyclone!"
  5. "Kirk Cameron's Avatar"
    James. James Cameron.
  6. "Isn't this like Doctor Dolittle: white version?"
    The Zookeeper starring Kevin James
  7. "Doesn't Al Gore do the weather in the morning?"
    Al Roker.
  8. *looking for greeting cards that play music* "oh these ones say symphony! That must mean they play music right?"
    I'm sure it would mean that, if they said symphony instead of SYMPATHY.
  9. "You could be like Joseph Gordon-Levitt in 21st Day of Summer."
    Close.
  10. "Rick, please!"
    He meant to say either "Witch, please!" or "Rick or treat!" but got confused. Luckily, I have this one on video. Enjoy: https://www.instagram.com/p/BLHzR8hDztC/
  11. "You know what we should get?... ROLLERBLADES."
  12. "Let's see La La Land do this."
    Re: the Flubber mambo scene
  13. "I'm a plain cereal kind of boy."
  14. "I've never seen a poor man in a sleep mask."
  15. "I want a fern."
  16. "Boomerangs suck. Have you ever tried to throw one?"
  17. "Why isn't it Ar-KANSAS???"