1. "I read a really interesting article about..."
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  2. This old man at CVS who passive agressively got mad at an old woman for going to the new open register before him
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    "I was waiting longer. Thanks a lot." CALM DOWN SIR
  3. This CVS pharmacist who was apparently practicing his stand up routine as he gave me my flu shot
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  4. When I see my neighbor's Christmas lights already up
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    IT'S THE SECOND WEEK OF NOVEMBER CONTROL YOURSELF PLEASE
  5. When some guy I'd never met before chimed in on me and my friends' conversation about old Disney movies: "Remember that Disney Channel movie Hounded?" Me: "Yeah with Shia LaBeouf." "Hahahahahaha no! That's Even Stevens!!!"
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    DO NOT QUESTION MY DCOM KNOWLEDGE YOU PEASANT
  6. "Sarah never smile/laughs"
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  7. Anything Trump says
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  8. When my dad tells my mom our puppy has been "good today" after the puppy just bit me 5 times
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  9. When I wanna relax and watch Boy Meets World, but it's the episode where Shawn joins a cult
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