Moms That Scare Me
No judgement. I'm just terrified
- •The Eternal Breastfeeder. Ethan is entering kindergarten in the fall and still on the boob. Yikers. This mom wears a Jansport backpack and brings her own sprouted bread with her when she eats out.
- •The Judgey Antivaxxer. I just don't want my kid to die of polio. Geez! Go away!
- •The Big Shot. "Tabitha stood up for four seconds yesterday and then six seconds today. She's basically walking."
- •The Humble Bragger. "Oh my god, I am such a MESS. I haven't showered since yesterday. My daughter has a donut crumb on her. She's so dirty!" Yes. you are basically the Bridget Jones of moms. Hilarious! Not.
- •The Psycho. "We just got back from the Emergency room. Max got sweaty in his Magic Merlin and we just can't take the risk"
- •The Entrepreneur. "I'm a Rodan and Fields consultant/ Sleep Trainer/ barre instructor/ curating a line of organic hair scrunchies/ freelance fashion designer/ Sells nail wrap things/ Cabi stylist/ Makes turquoise jewelry. Just stop by. You don't have to buy anything!"