Moms That Scare Me

No judgement. I'm just terrified
  1. The Eternal Breastfeeder. Ethan is entering kindergarten in the fall and still on the boob. Yikers. This mom wears a Jansport backpack and brings her own sprouted bread with her when she eats out.
  2. The Judgey Antivaxxer. I just don't want my kid to die of polio. Geez! Go away!
  3. The Big Shot. "Tabitha stood up for four seconds yesterday and then six seconds today. She's basically walking."
  4. The Humble Bragger. "Oh my god, I am such a MESS. I haven't showered since yesterday. My daughter has a donut crumb on her. She's so dirty!" Yes. you are basically the Bridget Jones of moms. Hilarious! Not.
  5. The Psycho. "We just got back from the Emergency room. Max got sweaty in his Magic Merlin and we just can't take the risk"
  6. The Entrepreneur. "I'm a Rodan and Fields consultant/ Sleep Trainer/ barre instructor/ curating a line of organic hair scrunchies/ freelance fashion designer/ Sells nail wrap things/ Cabi stylist/ Makes turquoise jewelry. Just stop by. You don't have to buy anything!"