30 Ways You Know You're Over 30

  1. 1.
    It gives you inordinate pleasure to replace a dirty kitchen sponge with a fresh, clean one.
  2. 2.
    You remember you have Monday off and immediately plan a thorough spring cleaning.
    Admit it, it's fucking satisfying.
  3. 3.
    You wear sunscreen regularly.
    Gone are the days of chasing the perfect sun-kissed cancer-skin.
  4. 4.
    If you aren't already out by 8pm, nothing can entice you to leave the house.
  5. 5.
    If you know a restaurant is loud, you don't go there.
    Why would I want to yell while I'm eating??
  6. 6.
    You're out with friends and 11pm roles around...
    Well guys it's been real. BYE.
  7. 7.
    Hangovers are BRUTAL.
    Seriously, since when does it take two days to get over a night out?
  8. 8.
    A perfect New Year's Eve "party" includes takeout and Netflix.
  9. 9.
    You're totally fine not having plans on Saturday night.
    You're probably happy about it.
  10. 10.
    You'd rather watch HGTV than MTV
  11. 11.
    You appreciate, nay lust after, nice kitchen appliances
    Kitchen Aid come to meeeee!!
  12. 12.
    Your most exciting purchase of the year is your new couch/bed/washing machine.
  13. 13.
    Related: you enjoy shopping for furniture.
  14. 14.
    You don't care to sleep on a futon. Or a couch. Or an air mattress. Etc.
    Comfort is paramount.
  15. 15.
    Your childhood is for sale at vintage stores.
  16. 16.
    When clothes shopping, you're willing to shell out for a few quality, timeless pieces rather than lots of cheap, trendy ones that last 5 minutes.
    Forever 21 not so forever after all.
  17. 17.
    You get great satisfaction from cooking an excellent meal
  18. 18.
    Related: you enjoy feeding people.
    You're turning into your mother! 😳
  19. 19.
    You begin having the urge to thank your parents for things they did/decisions they made 15-25 years ago.
  20. 20.
    You are not freaked out by seeing babies at social events.
  21. 21.
    All your friends are getting married and having kids.
    It's fine. All your vacation time will be spent at weddings.
  22. 22.
    You may have even found your dream job by now, or are getting there.
  23. 23.
    You know all about health insurance, 401k's, IRA's...
    They give you stress nightmares, but you know about them.
  24. 24.
    People who don't know you sometimes assume you have children.
  25. 25.
    And if you don't have children, you clearly have pets that you consider your children.
  26. 26.
    You stop caring (as much) what other people think.
  27. 27.
    You actually kind of know what you want Most of the time.
  28. 28.
    And you're done apologizing for who you are!
    You know you rock.
  29. 29.
    In fact, you've realized what your strengths are and you know how to maximize them!
    Self awareness for the win.
  30. 30.
    You've said to someone in their 20's, "Just you wait. It gets even better!!"