Anatomy of a Haircut

I get my hair cut approx 2 times per year because I am cheap/lazy and also because my hair is my safety blanket/gives me something to do with my hands when I feel awkward aka always. 💁🏻
  1. 17% nervous anticipation
    I would say nerve levels are similar to those when going to the doctor.
  2. 5% explaining every single thing the stylist should NOT do based on many years of experience with people cutting my hair
  3. 2% basking in the admiration of the stylist re how beautiful/thick my hair is
    I KNOW other humans out there have hair like mine. It is not that special I promise.
  4. 10% cringing as brush is ripped through my hair
  5. 10% more cringing as stylist jokes about how her clips won't hold my hair because it is so thick
    Not original content.
  6. 12% avoiding eye contact with myself in the mirror but also avoiding staring at others resulting in focusing intently on the hair products in front of me
    The most genius marketing plot ever.
  7. 20% pretending to love the haircut even though I will not be able to determine if I love or hate it until I get home
  8. 18% living a Pantene commercial
    I AM SELENA
  9. 6% realizing the Pantene commercial will come to an end the second I wash my hair and subsequently deciding not to shower for 2 more days
    #hygiene