EASY STEPS TO MAKING RETIREMENT CONTRIBUTION DECISIONS

They don't teach you this in school, kids.
  1. 1.
    Stare at forms from HR
  2. 2.
    Panic
  3. 3.
    Text your parents
  4. 4.
    Realize your parents also have no clue
  5. 5.
    Take a break
  6. 6.
    Eat a snack
  7. 7.
    Read the forms again
  8. 8.
    Google "tax-deferred annuity"
  9. 9.
    Google 403(b) vs 403(b)Roth
    Read everything
  10. 10.
    Google Vanguard vs TIAA
    Read everything
  11. 11.
    Get 10 differing opinions on everything you've googled
  12. 12.
    Text all your friends in finance
  13. 13.
    Realize all your friends in finance have completely different employers and therefore different retirement contribution options than you
    They have no clue
  14. 14.
    Stare at charts like they mean something
  15. 15.
    Ask the HR lady what she does
  16. 16.
    Roll some dice
  17. 17.
    Consult your Magic 8 Ball
  18. 18.
    Fill out the forms and pray to the gods of retirement
  19. 19.
    Assume you will update your choices when you become more informed
  20. 20.
    Fall into deep existential hole of questioning the purpose of a public school education and also why governments don't care about people and also the meaning of life as well as counting the number of hours left until you can retire