Alternative list title: "Things that regular people do that deserve a gold medal"
  1. Safely navigating the space between light switch and bed after turning off the light in an unfamiliar room
  2. Washing your hair in a cold shower while not allowing any other part of your body to touch the water
  3. Remaining patient as that stupid pedestrian darts in front of your car
  4. Remaining patient as that stupid driver almost hits you while you're in the crosswalk
  5. Paying off student loans (or any type of loan)
  6. Pretending to be actively working for at least 8 hours per day
  7. Keeping a smile from looking fake while listening to someone story about their kid for more than 2 minutes
    Suggested by @theshome