THIS IS A BRAIN DUMP OF ALL MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS RIGHT NOW

TL;DR I am reallllllly being a downer, and I'm bad at articulating shit that's in my head. You guys are gonna hate this.
  1. This morning I got on Facebook to look at all the pictures my friends from all over the US posted of the marches they'd attended.
    SO MANY. I WAS LOVING IT ALL.
  2. But mixed in with the posts of unity and strength were posts from others. Posts that showed how women of many nationalities who, due to their religious beliefs, are against abortion were verbally harassed by those attending marches.
  3. This really bummed me out. I know MANY people who are liberal in every sense except for their personal belief based on their religion against abortion. And these people don't necessarily want to defund Planned Parenthood because they do acknowledge its benefits, but they also want other women to not hate them for their personal views that
    they aren't actually trying to impose on anyone else. And I think most of my liberal friends would argue that that type of person is not the majority of women who are against abortion, but that's not my experience at all.
  4. That's just one little example though. The main thing that really sent me into a fury was a post that popped up because one of my best friends since high school liked it. It was from a conservative news outlet & had a headline about the women's marches that was so awful I can't justify typing it out here.
    I don't know why she liked it. I wanted to believe she didn't really think that way, but she does. And no amount of me trying to talk to her is going to change her mind.
  5. I grew up in a conservative household, in a conservative county.
  6. Because I have been fortunate to travel and learn and meet people outside of where I grew up, my views are much more liberal than conservative.
  7. But I still value the individuals in my life who have very different views from me. Because to me, people aren't disposable. I know many people on both sides of the political spectrum are all for removing people from their lives who they disagree with. But I can't do that.
    I can't justify removing conservative people from my life on the basis of their hate/intolerance when the liberal people in my life voice a lot of intolerance too.
  8. I've been reading a lot on erasure in the history we tell. Only including the things about our historical figures that we like in the textbooks, ignoring the other things. The ugly bits, or the things that don't quite make sense.
  9. Not acknowledging the racism that occurred in the women's suffrage movement is erasure.
  10. Is deleting people on Facebook because I think they're hateful tor just wrong the same thing? I'm starting to think it is. It definitely does not allow for any possibility of people as complex, multi-faceted individuals who don't fall into the boxes we make for "good" and "bad".
  11. Can you stand up for people who are Muslim, while telling people who are conservative Christians that their beliefs are wrong? Can you claim to be a person who is accepting of people who aren't like you, except for the ones who you specifically don't want to hear? Where's the intersectionality in that?
    Can you really stand for unity while looking down on large groups of people? Us liberals like to say no if you're a conservative, but yes if you vote blue? With no acknowledgement of the potential for nuances in certain groups of people.
  12. I acknowledge that on my part, that's a privileged stance to take as well. But I can't help but notice the parallels between feminists of today who marginalize other women for their beliefs & the white women during the women's suffrage movement who pushed out women of color (women who weren't convenient partners for their fight at that time)
    so they could advance their own cause.
  13. Many of my friends who I walked with yesterday kept going on and on about how excited they were after and how empowered they felt. 95% of these people (including myself) are incredibly privileged in terms of pretty much every identifier out there.
    Fully able, US citizens, financially stable
  14. If our birth control isn't free anymore we'll have jobs with good insurance, or families to support us in terms of money or other support. So instead of being happy for my friends for feeling happy I just wanted to scream "KAY GREAT, BUT THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU".
    Obviously I never said this out loud. Obviously it was a horrible thought to have.
  15. And I was definitely uplifted by yesterday and in no way want to criticize the people in my life (and the lovely people of this app) who were strengthened and uplifted yesterday because that was one of the primary purposes of the day.
  16. Last night I was watching Anderson Cooper and he made the point that what defines advocacy is actually ENGAGING with the people who view things differently than you.
  17. And yet, yesterday as we chanted for building bridges instead of walls I wonder if with every word we were actually further cementing the invisible walls that already exist between the left and the right.
  18. And I'm having this internal battle of wanting to engage with people who I disagree with because I truly believe that's the only way progress will occur, while also hearing my friends who are people of color remind me that the ones who we marched against are not interested in engaging with them.
    Also like I said earlier, no amount of engagement with people who I know really well is going to change their minds, so why would I think engaging with people I don't know would do anything?
  19. So now I'm over here with a pit in my stomach, not sure how to support and uplift those who are vulnerable to this new administration, while also balancing the hypocrisy that is so real in this new wave of feminism.
  20. I just honestly want to know how we can all proceed. How do you all balance all the extremes in opinion in your own lives? Maybe it's not possible? I sure as hell have no idea how to do it.