UGH

  1. I realize this is late in the game because I take a long time to process things that matter to me, but the recent backlash to the 2013 headphones article was really important.
  2. Because it's not just about headphones, it's about certain males feeling entitled to talking to you, touching you, etc as a female no matter what your body language is saying, or what you are saying to them with WORDS for that matter.
  3. And some guys have felt really defensive about all this, and to some extent I understand that.
  4. Because literally ALL movies, books, etc we have grown up with show a guy chasing a girl and "getting" her in the end. Or a group of friends where all available females ultimately end up with one of the males romantically.
  5. And obviously we shouldn't depend on the media and whatnot to learn how to be a person in real life, but it does condition us to act in certain ways.
  6. And the other day for example, I was getting on the train and a man sitting behind me tapped me on the shoulder and said "Excuse me but I just have to say that you are beautiful" or something along those lines.
  7. I laughed and thanked him and experienced about 2.5 seconds of gratification because I had overslept that day and had been flustered and he honestly brightened my day.
  8. I continued to stare out the window cause I didn't really feel the need to continue conversing with him. He left me alone.
  9. But then as he got off at the next stop he stopped next to me and said "Have a blessed day, baby" on his way out.
  10. And then I had the gross feeling.
  11. I don't know if this is a feeling that is universal but I'm sure every woman has had it at LEAST once in her life.
  12. That gross feeling where something in your gut tells you what just happened was not okay.
  13. That feeling where you just want to scrunch down in your seat and disappear.
  14. And I was mad at myself because this guy had done literally NOTHING to make me feel uncomfortable until he chose to use the word "baby". And even then maybe it's just a word he uses on the reg without a creepy connotation. Who knows.
  15. And I still don't know how to feel about this because to people who may have never felt this way, it sounds dumb. So what get over it, move on. Am I just over analyzing this whole thing?
  16. One part of me thinks I just need to chill out because he was just a friendly stranger on the train.
  17. But the other part of me thinks what gives a stranger the authority to comment on the physical appearance of another?
  18. Because the gross feeling doesn't just happen. It's in your gut.
  19. And this is why these situations are tricky.
  20. Because I'm NOT saying a person should never give a stranger a compliment.
  21. And I'm NOT saying that guy did anything wrong.
  22. But the fact that two weeks later it's still bothering me says something.
  23. And I think the issue is because while this guy could have just been trying to brighten a stranger's day, I've been in SO MANY situations that started like this and then quickly changed to something where the intent was NOT positive.
  24. So I'm defensive to all of it.
  25. I have zero conclusions from this, just needed to share. It's really important to talk about the gray areas, because that's where problems happen. Thanks for reading if you made it this far 🤗 💛