PETTY CURSES I WOULD PUT ON PEOPLE

Inspired by @smallthings
  1. You can never find the thing you're looking for, until an unknown number of days after you stop looking for it.
    Car keys, drivers license, wedding rings, no matter how important, you won't have it when you need it. (But you will EVENTUALLY get it back. I'm not hateful.)
  2. In the shower, you will always pick up the conditioner first and squirt some out in your hand before you realize that it's not the shampoo you thought you grabbed.
  3. Your long hair will get caught in the car door 94% of the time.
  4. Something will always jam your dresser drawers on days you're running late. You'll see what you need to grab, but you won't be able to reach it.
  5. You'll accidentally call your manager "mom" or "dad" at least once at every job you ever work at.
  6. When you're in the line ordering starbucks, one of those weird bubbles will form in the back of your throat, distorting everything you say until you clear your throat or swallow.