Things My Grandmother Doesn't Know I Do With the Stuff She Gave Me

  1. Sleep in her cashmere sweaters
    They're basically crop tops on my 6' frame. I call them my sleeping cashmere
  2. Hide cigarettes from myself in her velvet-lined box purse from Shanghai
    Then get really excited when I remember I have cigarettes
  3. Wear her pith helmet from her Philippines safari as a beach hat
    Leather chin strap. That shit never flies off