Surefire Ways to Get Laid

These methods have been workshopped for over a decade of consistently regrettable sexual encounters
  1. Don't shave your legs
    Sex comes when you're least prepared
  2. Forget your pill
    For at least 3 days leading up to coitus
  3. Have work early the next morning
    Bonus if you end up very far away from home or work
  4. Find someone who means next to nothing to you
  5. And to whom you mean even less