1. "Yeah, I finished Anna Karenina. I was very particular about the translation I chose."
    Got m'self a boyfriend with this one
  2. "I love to cook"
    I love to eat, actually.
  3. "I am very detail oriented"
    I mean, I'm good at making lists.
  4. "I took the dog out" (goes back to sleep)
    Poor pup has learned to hold it on Saturday.
  5. "Oh, I have plans, but thanks!"
    I mean, I do have plans to do nothing.
  6. "We watched The Wire this summer"
    I slept through almost everything in seasons 3th, 4th, and... was there 5th?
  7. "I'm trying to eat less meat*"
    *Except when I am drunk or hungry or just feel like it.