THINGS I KEEP IN MY BEDSIDE TABLE AT ALL TIMES

Because getting out of bed is the worst.
  1. Unisom
    Can also be found in my glovebox, overnight bag, and medicine cabinet.
  2. Melatonin
    For when I'm feeling optimistic
  3. Condoms
    Nobody got time for the clap or a kid
  4. Stationery
    Because maybe I want to write a letter
  5. Notebook
    Because maybe I need to write down a brilliant idea
  6. Milkbones
    For when the dog wants breakfast and I want sleep
  7. Kleenex
    Obvs