THINGS MEMBERS OF MY FAMILY ARE LIKELY TO FIGHT ABOUT AT MY GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL
Some families are easy going. Not mine.
- •What we're eatingAre some people purposefully excluding the vegetarians? Are others being snobs? Probably.
- •Who is the most put out by having to be at this funeralMy grandmother should probably be considered the most wronged individual at the funeral, but I doubt she will be.
- •Who is being the bigger bitchMe? My sister? Let's fight it out.
- •What to do after the funeralThere's only one right answer: watch football and drink.
- •When we can leaveCan those of us who have already said our thank yous and goodbyes now depart or do we have to depart en masse? My feet are killing me.