THINGS MEMBERS OF MY FAMILY ARE LIKELY TO FIGHT ABOUT AT MY GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL

Some families are easy going. Not mine.
  1. What we're eating
    Are some people purposefully excluding the vegetarians? Are others being snobs? Probably.
  2. Who is the most put out by having to be at this funeral
    My grandmother should probably be considered the most wronged individual at the funeral, but I doubt she will be.
  3. Who is being the bigger bitch
    Me? My sister? Let's fight it out.
  4. What to do after the funeral
    There's only one right answer: watch football and drink.
  5. When we can leave
    Can those of us who have already said our thank yous and goodbyes now depart or do we have to depart en masse? My feet are killing me.